Something that may shock and discredit you / Daniel Mallory Ortberg.

Chapter titles from the on the nose, po-faced transmasculine memoir I am trying not to write -- Lord Byron has a birthday and takes his leave -- Reasons for transitioning, in order -- If you can't parallel park, you have to get a sex change -- Unwanted coming-out disorder -- The stages of not going on T -- Cosmopolitan magazine cover stories for bewildered future trans men living in the greater Chicago area between the years 1994-2002 -- On Wednesdays we mean girls wore pink -- The Golden Girls and the mountains in the sea -- Captain James T. Kirk is a beautiful lesbian, and I'm not sure exactly how to explain that -- Duckie from Pretty in Pink is also a beautiful lesbian, and I can prove it with the intensity of my feelings -- "I love your vibe," and other things I've said to men -- Nora Ephron's I Feel Bad About My Neck, transmasculine edition -- Powerful T4T energy in Steve Martin's The Jerk -- Did you know that Athena used to be a tomboy? -- Dirtbag Sappho -- How I intend to comport myself when I have abs someday -- Paul and Second Timothy: the transmasculine epistles -- Destry Rides Again, or Jimmy Stewart has a body and so do I -- The matriarchs of Avonlea begrudgingly accept your transition / Men of Anne of Green Gables experience.